Some Pics. to update

 I have finally downloaded the camera.  Good things come to those who wait.  I even managed to put together the calendar that I had promised Granny for Christmas.  The good news was that I can change the beginning month to Feb.  and have the calendar run through next Feb.  I love that.  So here are a few of my favorite pics from the last couple months.

This is Christmas morning. since we don't have a lot of space we get a small tree(yes it is real) and place on top of the kids play table.  I won't tell you how many shots we had to take in order to get all the children looking acceptable.  I love the way the boys are looking at each other.

 This is the day after Christmas and Xavier's baptism,  The Feast of the Holy family. Lets just say the family in the picture only has one pure soul with them.  The rest of us are struggling to be holy.  At least we are in church and all dressed nice.

 This is Xavier and my brother Tom, the marine home on leave.
They don't look like they are related, do they ?

                         I just like the boys behaving nicely.  They are cute and color coordinated. 

 This is what the boys do best.  And they are bound to be nice and warm all snuggled together.

 Xavier at two months.  I have a friend who takes beautiful pictures.  These are not hers.  Mine never are as beautiful no matter how hard I try.  How do you get the pictures to even do justice to the beauty of God's creation before you?   Xavier is still cute though.  And I will keep trying.

He has learned to smile.  I can even get him to giggle a little.  Nothing makes a mothers heart melt more than to see how her babies eyes light up and the smile creep up when her baby see her.

I am sorry that it doesn't happen as quickly for Daddy.  Well lets face it mom puts in a lot more hours with baby.  And loses a lot of sleep.  We need those early smiles to keep us going.

These are just some gentle reminders of the beautiful family I have been blessed with. 

Sleep?

Okay so every new mom knows that they are going to lose sleep and if they don't know that then they have experienced some small miracle.  I have been fortunate enough that about three weeks ago my baby started to sleep through the night.  In the last week and a half since I have changed my diet that has stopped.  Last night was particularly bad.

We went to bed about 9:30 and I knew that he would be wanting to eat soon.  Just as we were about to doze off, I heard him.  My hubby thought that I was crazy.  He said he didn't hear a thing ( I believe this has something to do with man's uncanny talent known as selective hearing).   I was correct though.  We nursed, burped and changed the diaper ( by we I mean me).  Then for the next two hours he fussed.  I didn't want to rock him to sleep or let him sleep with us.  I want him to work on self soothing.  So instead I would give him his nuk and rock the bassinet until he quieted then stop in hopes that he would proceed to fall asleep on his own.  He would cry and I would let him for a little while, then we would do it all over agian. Nuk, rock, quiet, cry , nuk, rock quiet, cry and so on.  Each time the quiet time would get a little longer.  Each time I would let him fuss a little more.  Eventually at about 12 he fell asleep. 

I wish that I could say that that was the end of our late night meeting.  We started the whole process over again at 2 and then at 4:30 and agian at 5:30.  Of course, just as I am placing him back in his bassinet at about 6 and he quietly falls to sleep on his own, Max comes in and asks if he can get dressed.  The girls have to get up anyway and be out the door by 6:45, so who am I to tell him no? 

I do believe that because my diet is causing him to spit-up so much and be gassy that he is getting hungry faster.  He also is not nursing as well.  He nurses for a short amount of time and then plays to sooth himself.  It really is a viscous cycle that I really could live with out.  I have not slept much in the last week and find that I need to resort to coffee to get me through the day. 

So , hot coffee cup in hand I sit and type my tale of woe.  I know that other mom are not as lucky as me to have had a few weeks of blissful sleep.  I know that in a way I am blessed to have to wake so often to care for this beautiful baby.  I know that many women wish that they could know what it feels like, but have not been able to be blessed as I have.  For that I am thankful.  And Thank God for the creation of COFFEE to wake me up enough to be able to be Supermom both day and night.

The Hubby

So I mentioned in an early blog that we got a new scale.  This prompted my hubby to get on it.  Lets just say that he weighted a little more than he had thought.  It seems to be a common problem around here.  Well, except for Xavier, who can't seem to gain huge amounts (that may have something to do with all his spitting up).  I well , I sort of had a little melt down about his weight and how I wanted him to be around, his family's bad health history and how it would make him feel better.  I said a lot more than that, but that is just a few of the reasons.  I told him he needed to come up with a plan.  And there were going to be no excuses.

Here's the plan.  He is going to cut back on what he eats.  He will no longer drink soda and will not purchase additional food past the lunch that he packed.  He has a goal to work out an hour a day six days a week.  Three or four cardio sessions and two weight and strength training.  I am praying that he sticks to this. 

I am making sure that when he gets home he is working out.  This week he is just trying to do thirty minutes, but that is a hard sacrifice since I have the children all day and look forward to him coming home and a possible break.   This overall will make him a better father and husband.  And once he reaches his goal we will be able to be a fit family together.  You may need to remind me of this later.  He figures that it will take him eight months to reach his goal.  I can't wait!  I will keep you posted.  When he weight himself yesterday he already lost six pounds in five days. 

I am doing all within my power to loose the excess weight.  It is driving me crazy.  Our scale broke shortly after the baby was born and last week we finally replaced it.  Then I got on it.  Here is where it all went wrong.  I have an extra 8 lbs that should not be there. 

You all know how I like to be in control.  And I certainly can not afford to buy new cloths.  So I started a detox diet.  I will be honest, I have only been doing for two out of three meals a day.  I figure that way it is not so drastic.  Xavier hates it.   He has become a very spit-uppy sort of guy. And not sleeping so well.  I can only guess that it has something to do with all the leafy greens. 

On top of the diet, I am trying to work out for atkeast an hour a day.  This is difficult and offen involves several sessions of shorter amounts.  I feel that running is my best release, but it has been very cold and that makes it all the more difficult to get out.  I wish there was some kind of magical prayer that would cause the weight to just melt off. 

Determination

I have decided that a huge part of depression is your own mind set.  don't get me wrong, I know that there is a physical, uncontrollable side of the disease.  But I do think that when it starts to take hold of you, you can either let it pull you down and feel hopeless, or you can get back up and do everything with in your power to overcome it. 

I am choosing to do the later.  So I choose to exercise more, eat healthier, and schedule outings with friends.  I want to keep myself busy ( like cleaning out a closet or rearranging the furniture) so that I don't dwell on the bad.  Some people call it nesting, I like to refer to it as therapy.  It is way cheaper than the drugs and no bad side effects.

So today I had my first meeting with a new Home Advantage group.  It is comprised of women who want to learn how to make their homes run better.  I don't know any of these women, so making new friends is always a good thing.  And getting out of the house is also good.  It also gave Max a play date with other boys his own age.  He didn't want to leave. 

Sometimes you just have to surrender to the life you lead and kick the bad feelings in the rump.  Send them packing and pull yourself back-up.

Down I go

I am just goint to comment on how I feel like doing nothing.  I don't really feel like blogging.  I know depression when I feel it and I am not very good at hiding it, so why bother.  It hit last night at about 7:30 and I felt my mind pulling away from my body.  I warned my hubby, although I am not sure how seriously he took  me.  The thought about all that has to be done today is not very uplifting,  And the snow mounds outside and impending cold snap even less so.  Perhaps late!

Rambling

As of late I have had so many things going through my mind that I really don't know what to write about first.  It is very hard to quiet the thoughts when they come as quickly as they have been.

We had our first CCD class since Christmas last night.  We talked about prayer as adoration and awe.  When I was prepping.  Yes, I did do a little prep., even though it was only an hour before class and about twenty minutes long.  I realized that this is probably one of the least common types of prayer.  All to often we are asking for something and or thanking for something.  We talked about how you have to love someone for who they are and not just what they do( that would be using them).

The first thing I thought about was children's prayers.  They are so simple and sweet.  They also are straight forward and have no hidden agenda.  I pulled a book of Celtic Children's prayers off the shelf and found one of my favorites by St. Patrick.  It was a perfect example of just adoring our Lord.

We went on to talk about silence.  This was very difficult for them.  The tech savy world  has provided us with every avenue imaginable to be inundated with technology and be connected at all times.  We simply don't know how to be silent.  This was made evident when I asked them to be silent for two minutes.   It is also evident when one stops to consider when if at all they have silence each day.

As a mother of now four I can attest that there is no silence.  I have even threatened to change my name from "Mom", in an effort to find some moments of peace.  Right now I am even typing with an infant bouncing on my lap.  What a mother won't do to get things done.  Well I believe that is enough rambling for now and perhaps I have given you enough to think over.  I would like to think that my class is thinking it all over, but I won't flatter myself.

Update

Greetings from far of New baby Land.  I know, I know .  It has been a long time and I was very rude not to update you all in a proper, timely manner.  But let me justify my rudness by simply telling you all that has happened.  I will start with the birth ( hang in there this entire blog may get a little long).

We did go to the Dells with hubby's work.  We left on Thursday Nov. 11th ( I was due the 16th).  The resort was great,  The room was amazing.  Way more room than two people needed.  We each had our oen bathroom.  This proved helpful since I used it every five minutes.  We were in the waterpark a little.  I couldn't do any of the rides.  We were a little afraid that we would have to make a middle of the night, mad dash for the hospital two hours away.  The food was well worth the drive.  I slept horribly and awoke with contractions on a regular basis.  They didn't progress so we tried to relax.  On Saturday the 13th we were to return home.  I got up at about 6 with a little spotting and contractions about 25 minutes apart.  I woke the hubby up and suggested we starting loading the car and head home.  We had breakfast and got home about noon.  We unpacked and picked up the kids from Nana's, where they had been staying.  We got some ice cream and went to 5:00 mass , returned home and made a pizza for dinner. At about 8 I went to lie down.  I got these shooting pains doen my legs.  Thery were rapid and short lasting but one on top of the other.  They didn't feel like contractions.  I got back out of bed and was in tears and shaking.  The Hubby called the hospital.  They said it didn't sound like labor but I could come in and be checked.  So Grandma got the kids and we went in.  When we arrived contracions were about five minutes apart and lasting 40 seconds.  They checked and I was already at 6.  Thank God!  I didn't really want to be sent home.  I was admitted at 8:40 amd Xavier Damien came into the world officially at 11:06 p.m.  When people ask how was labor,  I say "fast and furrious".  Xavire wieghted 6lbs.14oz. 201/2 inches long.  Unfortunately the only pic I have on the computer is the family photo when he was three weeks old.  My hubby's camera we decided is not that great and all the pictures are fuzzy.  Perhaps we had the wrong setting.

We spent the next two weeks in and out of the doctors office.  Xavier was not gaining wieght.  I had to feed him every two hours and pump besides.  It was not fun.  He was down to 6lbs. and dehydrated.  They were even talking about admitting him back to the hospital.  Finally, at three weeks he was back to birth wieght and holding his own.  I am now nursing him normally, but he is by no means, "chunking out".

I wieghted him at my six week appointment last week and he was  8lbs.  (Our scale at home is broken.)  I am just happy we are moving in the right direction. 

Now as far as everything else.  We had the Hubby's birthday, Thanksgiving, Max's birthday, Christmas caroling, Christmas parties,  Christmas programs, my brother Tom's wedding, Christmas and Xavier's Baptism.  Not to mention all that goes with those things.  By some miracle I still managed to make 14 kinds of cookies, truffles, fudge and homemade peanut butter cups. 

And I thought that when I had the baby I would be able to slow down a little.  Perhaps that should be my New Year's resolution.  Here is to a slower, more mellow year!  God Bless.  I will blog sooner next time.