Let's talk about deadlines

Okay, this week has been rough.  Let's talk about deadlines and the reality of everyday life.  I set some goals a few weeks back for the race.  things like getting out sponsorship letters, opening registration, getting insurance.  I am sad to say that I have not met very many of them.  I am happy to say that is not for lack of trying. 

I have a quote in process.  I have been working hard on the website and have added some more content, including a printable pdf that people can print up to share.  I have finished a corporate letter and had it proofed by my sister.  English is not my forte.  I guess this is one reason that God blessed me with so many siblings.  I alsmost always have one that is good at what I am lacking. 

So realistically this comes down to the  serenity prayer.   God give me strength to do what needs to be done and what must, and also the serenity to except what I can not change.  Note- this is my paraphrasing.  The prayer says it better.  Children are a constant reminder of that.  It is most important to take care of them and give them what they need.  Secondary  are your needs and wants.  Often times the little things are more important.  

Like I would have loved to recieve Communion today,  However, Max had other plans.  He just didn't want to sit quietly.  Why is it that two year old boys think that any time is a good time to growl like a tiger?   I spent my communion meditation in the hall serving corner time.  There must be some grace in that. 

I know that life is what we make of it and we are along for the ride.  The trick is remembering that we are a passenger and God is our driver.   Life is a struggle when we try to be the backseat driver, who knows it all.

I think that I did un usually well yesterday getting things done.  The drawer that houses all our movies was falling apart. I set out on a mission.  There were a few different objectives.  One, fix the drawer.  Two weed through the movies and donate some.  Third, make room on the book shelf for some so the drawer won't be as likely to break agian.  Fourth, weed through the books so that there is room.

I managed to accomplish all objectives.  The drawer simply had some screws loose.  Kinda like a few people I know.  The down side is that everything had to come out to fix it.  I made enough room on the bookshelf for the Disney VHS.  I would love to get rid of all our VHS tapes, but I just can't bring myself to part with "Cinderella" and the like.  Not yet.  We now have three rather large stacks of books and movies to donate.  It always feels good to let go of somethings that are cluttering your life.

The million dollar question is why no matter how many bags and boxes of things we get rid of do we still have a full apartment?  Well I am going to keep going.  The more I get rid of the more room there will be for the baby.   Next will be the religious books and cookbooks, games and my closet.  I just need to convince my husband that holding on to clothes that don't fit  won't make you shrink back into them.

I have toyed with the idea of having a rummage sale instead of donating it all.  Or just donate what we don't sell.  I am just not sure if that is the best idea.  I would have to price everything and work the sale.  The money from it would be nice yet the idea of giving it over for God's work is very appealing.  I will have to see what the Hubby thinks about it .

The best part is that the children really love looking at what they have and picking out things to give away.    The real trick is keeping them out of it until it is donated or sold.  Who knows how much migrates back to their secret toy stash.

Progress

Last night at about nine I got home from the final night of CCD.  We also had a teachers meeting and a party to celebrate that our beloved DRE was going to be leaving us.  It was the most pleasant meeting.  We had a nacho bar and ice cream cake.  We even had wine and cocktails to help celebrate.  Sorry to say that I could not indulge in those, but they looked blissful.  So I got home later than usual.

The good news the children were in bed already.  Thank you Hubby!  The bad, I received the news that Abby was not feeling well.  I went to check on the children and she was still awake.  I told her to come down (the six foot loft is not the place to be with an upset tummy) and come out to the couch.  No sooner had she sat down on the couch then she declared she was going to be sick.  Thank God, she is old enough to get to the bathroom and not make a big mess.  The Hubby even held her hair!  Needless to say she stayed home today.  She says she is feeling great though. 

This morning I felt pretty good too.  I got some emails answered and made some phone calls about the race.  Timing has been secured, and I am getting a quote about insurance.  God willing it will be amiable and we can move forward.  I atleast feel as though I have accomplished something.  I call it progress even though nothing is settled, but I take what I can get.  This afternoon I will be looking at banks to see about an account for the race.   Wish me luck and continued motivation.

Another week

Okay, so we have made it through another week.  Now that I am starting to feel better I need to get more focused on the race.  I set those deadlines and now I have to see them through.  Perhaps tomorrow I can get the sponsor letters printed and addressed.  I need to find people willing to help get this off the ground.

Mass this morning started out really well.  All the children lined up and sat in their chairs quietlly for the first 15 minutes.  It went down hill from there.  All in all I only had to take one of the children out, although I took her out twice.  

I wish I could say that art class went as well.  It wasn't really one thing, just all the children seemed unfocused and wound up.  I was exhausted by the end of class from saying," sit down in your seat", "quiet down", and " if it isn't yours, don't touch it!".  Somewhere, somehow, the children must get something out of this. 

Tomorrow nothing is planned.  It can go two ways.  We can get a lot done.  Or we can get a lot of much needed rest.  I leave it up to God.  Perhaps we can do both.  Rest until noon and then work the afternoon away. 
Always dreaming, what can I say.

Feeling better

I just want to say that I am feeling better!  I think that I am finally starting to overcome the viruses that I have been fighting.  It also helps that today has gone much smoother than yesterday.  I do have a ton of errands to run.  God willing the children will be helpful and not too cranky as we make our roounds.

Sometimes I think that when you don't have time to feel bad you just do what needs to be done.  I need to get the shopping done.   That inclludes two grocery stores, the dollar store, Walmart.  I also need to start on making
dinner for two families that just had babies.  The plan includes Chicken salad sandwiches, a strawberry, sponach salad, Raspberry applesauce jello and pretzel torte for dessert.  I will need to some torte to stay home for the hubby.  It is one of his favorites. 

I should also see about picking up the last few needed supplies for an art project at school.  Did I mention that I have a Dove meeting tonight and a few phone calls to make for the chocolate biz.  Well the children call and if I am going to get anything done I have to get a move on.  It takes almost half an hour to load them all in the car.  Wish me luck!

Meltdowns

I just want to talk briefly about meltdowns.  I have had a few recently.  I know that horomones can be to blame, especailly in my condition.  However, I have never been one to be okay with feeling out of control.  

My hubby was working in dishes on Sunday.  I had not been feeling well all day.  I actually called in for teaching CCD and spent most of the day on the couch.  I just apologized to him for being useless.  And of course I started to cry.  He said I was just doing a different kind of work right now.  It was awfully sweet.  I really do love him. 

Today I was late getting to my sisters.  I can't say it was any one thing.  It has been really hard getting out the door lately.   I suppose that the sore on my tongue that makes it difficult to talk and brush and eat isn't helping.  A little boy who has his own ideas about what to wear slows us down.  It also did't help to get hit in the head by a closet door this morning and needed to be iced, or baby powder all over the carpet that needed to be vacuumed.  And of course there is overall traffic delays.  So I was late.  My sister was clearly not happy and it only left her half an hour to get to her meeting.  I apologized, but I don't think that she heard me over her ranting about how if I couldn't be there on time maybe they would find someone who could.    Let's just say I had another meltdown.  Not one that my sister saw.  Natalie, my niece asked what was wrong and Lily just said ," Mommy hurt her head."  To which Max said," I am sorry ."  He was the force behind the closet door.

So here is the burning questions for today.  Should one feel badly about leaving a position where the employer cares very little about them, or what is going on  in their life?   I was wondering when would be a good time to tell my sister that when the baby comes I will not be watching her children any more, but I think that this morning gave me the answer I had been looking for.  Now why do I feel so uneasy about it all?

Two steps forward, and one step back

Well, last night as we were doing our usual Thusday prep for Friday art frenzy, the race planning really took a blow.  Let me just add that we had finished dinner and I was starting into the evening let down of emotions and stomach turning.  I got a phone call from the Knights of Columbus treasurer.  He said that they would not be able to insure the race.  The insurance carrier said that because it was on public land they couldn't cover the event.  My response, " Where else would it be?"  I can't think of any race I have ever run that has not been on public land.

I immediately felt worse.  I started to try to figure out all that I would now have to do to cover the let down.  Honestly, I wanted to climb right in to bed and just hide.  I said to my  husband that it is a set back, but we can still get this done. 

At mass this morning we had the story of the multiplication of the loaves and fish.  Father talked about how if he had been the boy he probably wouldn't have bothered.  His lunch wouldn't be much help to feed 5,000.  I got the message loud and clear.  Often our efforts seem as though they may make little difference.  And that is a fear I have for the race.  That we will race very little money for the Pregnancy Help Center.  However, our efforts will always pale in comparison to what God will do with them and the fruits they can produce. 

So, this is it .  I need to focus on the event happening.  Any money we raise will be great and excepted by those in need.  And this year to get the event off the ground will give us greater potental for next year.   I must look at it as laying down roots. 

Beautiful days ahead

We spent yesterday morning at the zoo.  It was great.  It was amazing weather and it was not very crowded.

Today we went to the park down the road and then to run some errands.  My hubby and I played Bocce while the childen climbed and slid around.  It was very relaxing.  We came home and made "puppy chow".  Except we used sunflower seed butter instead of peanut butter so the hubby could eat it.  The children each got a bag with cereal and powdered sugar to shake. 

Just think it is only April.   What a great many beautiful days we have ahead of us.

Milestones

It has been a long time sonce I have done any work on the race.  I spent the last two days setting up a website for the race.  It was  a little challenging.  I had a hard time converting files I needed in order to post them on the website.  There still is a lot to do.   I am going to give myself some deadlines.  Here are a few.

By the end of April  - I need to send out sponsorship letters.
                               - I need to set up the registration link
                               - I need to open an account just for the race.

If I can accomplish these three thing I will being doing pretty well .  It is difficult doing all of these things that I have never done before.  And I feel a little alone.  There is an upside to working alone in that when a decision is made it is made.  The down side is that I hesitate to make the decisions.  I don't know if what I am choosing is wise or not.  There is no one to help you make them.   And unfortunately if they turn out badly then you are soley responsible.  Very comforting thought, isn't it?

Did I mention that on Friday we are having a Spring Dinner with Fr. Rocky as the speaker for my daughter's school.  Let me add one more goal.  I want to have a brief "save the date" flyer printed so that I can set it out at the dinner.  I want to get the word out and spreading.  I also want to get people marking it on their calendars.  Milestones, that what all those goals are.  If can see the goal, I can work towards it and once I reach it, I can look forward to the next.  One day I will have the time to look back over all those milestones and see how very far I have come.

Faith

Faith is a funny thing.  You can have so much of it about somethings and very little about others.  Since you know how very type A I am and that I like to plan, the future is a very scary thing.

Lately I have been thinking a lot about the future.  It probably has something to do with school wanting us to hand in Fall registration.  My mind tells me I  need to plan something out and the way my body has been feeling tells me to take it one day at a time.  I haven't even given much thought as to what will be for dinner.  I know we will not starve, there is food a plenty (even if we have to resort to left over Easter candy).

Last night we had a mis mosh of  left overs with some freshly baked potatoes to balance it out.  Everyone ate something different, but we cleaned out the fridge and didn't throw the food away.  I think that the children like to have a choice.  They feel a little special that they are eating something that no one else is.  And my hubby made my night by doing the dishes for me!  I was so greatful.

I know that I need to pray more and worry less.  I once told one of my sisters that I felt that sometimes decisions are not necessarily right or wrong.  Both choices can be good, just different.  For example would you like Rocky Road or Strawberry cheese cake ice cream?   Neither choice will sell your soul, however, a lot of what we decide depends upon how we live out that decision.  There are no redeeming qualities to eating the entire quart of ice cream and small bowls shared with loved ones can feed the body and the soul.  Perhaps the decisions I have before me are like that.  There are pros and cons to all options and in the end it will not matter what I choose, just that I live out the choice in a Holy manner.

By the way I would choose Rocky Road with wipped topping.

The Couch

Today I am greatful for the couch.  Last night I started to not feel well.  I think that I am finally getting what everyone else has.  So I made dinner and fed the children.  It was my hubby's late night to work so he was't expected until 7.  I curled up on the couch with Max under a nice fuzzy blanket.  I do not remember my  husband coming home.  He did though.  I was sleeping.  He straightened the kitchen and got the children to bed.  He carried me into my bed where I promptly returned to sleep. 

This moring I awake to a stuffed up head which aches and to a very sore throat.  I am just grateful for that comfy couch, which allowed me to drift off so easily.  I am also thankful for my husband taking over where I left off.

Venting

Let me tell you some of the questions that I heard all to often when people found out I am pregnant agian.  I will also include some of my responses.

Are you going to move?    Well we don't know right now.  We will have to wait and see.  We figure that for the first year we would still be alright and the baby could be in our room.

Was this one planned?   -I know that the good Lord planned it and just let us in on the details.

I would also like  to say that one person in particular did not congratulate us and simple said, "oh wonderful" in a very resentful tone.  The tone that says way more than the words themselves and that leave a bad taste in your mouth.

I know that somewhere at sometime every pregnancy was celebrated without question.  People  simply trusted in God's providential care.  I am envious of that time and place.  My husband and I even commented on what it would be like to be there, filled with nothing but joy.  Since we also live in the reality that is our tiny two bedroom apartment and mounting stack of bills, it is harder for us to imagine.   We made an effort though and went out to dinner the night after we found out.  I trust that with God we will find a way to make it all work.  I also pray that those around us in time will come to understand that what we offer our children is much more valuable than the material wants and desires of this world.  I know that God will provide for us what we need not what we want and not when we want it, but when we need it.

Easter Recovery

Well Easter has come and Easter has gone and the children are still happily devouring it's evidence.  It  hasn't all been Joy and celebration though. 

We spent Good Friday back and forth from the doctors.   I went in the morning and Lily and Max in the afternoon.  We had to cancel the sleepover with the cousins because we were not too well.  By Holy Saturday the fevers were gone and only coughing and runny noses remained. 

We attended the Easter vigil to see my brother and sister be confirmed.  That is a long mass and it seemed even longer with Max insisting on sitting on my lap, but not sitting still.  We was fighting falling asleep and it wasn't until Communion that he finally surcumned.  That boy wieghs a lot.

Easter Sunday we spent with family.  First quietly at home with our baskets.   Then to my husbands grandmother's for lunch and finally to my parents for dinner.    At each place we placed Max in a T-shirt that said "big brother" and then waited to see how long it would take for anyone to notice and ask.  At my hubby's grandparents it took about an hour and a half.  And at my only about 15 minutes.  The girls are exstatic.  They had been hoping for this for a while.  Max is realtively oblivious, except that he is extra clingy.  I am just greatful that it is no longer a secret and I can feel sick and tired openly.  Easter  Sunday was a perfect day to share the news of such a blessing. 

Now if we all can just feel better.  Abby was up wheezing and coughing, my nephew is on an inhaler, and I am starting to run out of kleenex.