Two weeks later

It has been two weeks since I last posted.  What has kept me away?  No, it hasn't been a new baby, as much as I would have loved to start losing wieght again and not visit the bathroom every five minutes. 

Rather it has been finial baby prep, final race paper work, Halloween with the kidos, and preparing for  the auction at school and First Friday.  There is also the trip to the Dells this next week.  The trip that is supposed to be a great get a way for the Hubby and I , but we probably will miss due to the baby being due.

I feel pretty well and pretty prepared for the new baby.  I actually feel rather calm.  I have most things well in order for the auction and for First Friday.  I actually feel pretty Super.  However, my largest fear is how all will pan out with the children when I actually go into labor.   Who will end up taking them and will I make it to the hospital in time.  I will only mention that my sister still has no plan for her one year old's child care after I have the baby.  And realistically I am only going to be hear for four more days give or take.

Well I can't solve everyone,s problems .  I gave her fair warning of atleast seven months.  What more can one ask for?  I will go for now.  And hopefully, next time I will be able tell you all about our new little bundle.

Post Race Kaos

As I said before, little has slowed down now that the race is over.  I am still working on the paper work.  It has been amazing though.  I feel as though I actually accomplished something.  Not that the laundry and making dinner are not something.

I have seen articles in several papers about the race.  We were the front page story in the Catholic Herald.  The Herald even sent a photographer to cover the race.  He sent me an email the other day and included his entire archive of the photos from the race.  He said he wanted to contribute to the cause.  I have included some of those photos.

I feel as though I could not get much more uncomfortable with this baby though.  I even washed up the car seat yesterday.  My hubby helped put everything back together, and I could tell he was grateful for not having to do it on his own.  ( Is using a q-tip to clean out all the little corners overboard? or just another aspect of nesting?)

Last night we all went to the Hubby's softball game.  This is his last early game.  He has one more game next week, but it doesn't start until 8 and that's when the children start going to bed.  Besides it is getting pretty cold once that sun goes down.  Last night was cold.  We took thermoses of hot chocolate with us.  Although the children didn't seem to mind, they played on the playground more than watch the game anyway.  I am sad for the loss of fall.  It is only a short time away.   Halloween in around the corner and then the snowfall.  Thankfully, I will be busy with the baby and hopefully snuggled up warm inside the house. 

Okay, back to the paper work.

Run update

I can breath a little easier these days since the race was on Sunday.  It was a beautiful day and everything came together in time.  We had insurance, t-shirts looked great and about 80 people registered the day of the race.  This gave us a total of 204.  We had about thirty volunteers doing all sorts of things to make sure all ran smoothly.  And in the end we raised just over $2,000. after all the bills were paid. 

I am humbled to say the least at how well things turned out.  This was the first year and it was a lot of work.  It was amazing to see all the family, friends and complete strangers who came out to support the cause of life.  It was not perfect, but what man made invention is?  There is plenty of room for improvement.  But for the most part surveys indicated that participants were very satisfied with the overall experience and that they would come back next year, many said they would bring more people with them. 

I think that in the back of my mind I thought that once the race was over I could relax a little.  I have slowed down, but there is still some work to be done to get all my ducks in a row for this year, and then we could start to plan for next year.  I am hoping that next year will be a little less labor intensive.  Some things can be used again and there by increase the money raised for the pregnancy help centers.  I also need to write a huge stack of thank you to all those who worked so hard to help me make this dream a reality.

Hopefully I will get some pictures posted soon.  Next big event is the auction to raise money for my daughter's school in three weeks.  Followed by the baby in four.  And some where in there the hubby and I are supposed to go on this business trip to the Dells.  Let's hope I don't have a baby there.

The Panic

We have about four days and counting until race day.  I wish that I could say that all is set.  I wish that I could tell you that I am very excited at over 100 participants who have already registered.  However, I can not.  I am still waiting for the official proof of insurance to come through.  If I don't get that, I have to call all those people and cancel.

I am learning a lot of patience.  I am praying almost constantly that all goes well.  Most importantly, I am learning to delegate some tasks so I am not so overwhelmed.   And I am learning to let go of certain aspects of my vision. At this rate I doubt that we will raise any money for the pregnancy help centers.  I have come to terms with just having a fun event that raises awareness of the need to save the unborn. 

That is just the race.  I don't even want to talk about the constant contractions most days and the fact that I haven't even packed a bag yet for the hospital.  Well, the baby will just have to wait.  At least until the weekend is over.  I will have to leave it here for now.   It is almost time to pick-up the kindergartner.  It was picture day today at school.  Hopefully, the girls' hair held out until they said, "cheese".

Deep Breaths

My hubby was gone most of the weekend.  Yesterday he left for work at 2am and didn't return until 3pm.  I don't know what to say.  I guess I feel a little upset.  If he spent half as much time with us I might feel a little better supported and loved.  And the truth is that he has been so grumpy and tired when he was home that he doesn't want to spend time with us.  He just wants to veg out.  Not that I blame him, but I have been with the children 24/7 for over a week now on top of working on the race. 

Hopefully, this will start to get better since his biannual inspection is over.   I know that some of my upset is due to hormones.  I am just getting to that point in the pregnancy that I am tired and achy, and I just plain need to be loved on a little. 

Did I mention that I hit a mail box with the car yesterday on the way back from the doctor.  I felt awful.  The good news is that when I went to get the estimate for the dent the mechanic said that the little dent and scratch I had just added would be fixed anyway when they fixed the dent.  The bad news, because of the nature of the dent he is unsure if it can be completely fixed and it will cost about $1700.  Ouch!   I know that the families of the boys said that they would take care of it, but that price really hurts.  We will look into  get a few more quotes though.  Perhaps  someone can do it for cheaper.

I think that I am going to ground Supermom for a while. 

Pressure!!!

I have less than two weeks until the race.  I think that I am handling things in a timely manner, but since I have never been in charge of a race before, who really knows how I am doing.  I feel the crunch though.  There are lots of little details that still need to be addressed and one really big one.  I need runners/walkers.  There are only about 20 people registered.  I am afraid of day of registrations that will overwhelm me.  I am also short of volunteers.  I think that I can handle a lot, but in my condition I can not handle everything.

I also have a lot of other pressure.  I had contractions all day yesterday.  That worries me a little bit.  I still have about six weeks and I simply do not have time for the baby to come now.  I am devoting every waking moment to the race and it's details.  I am also praying a lot.  I wish that praying would pay the bills and make dinner.  Unfortunately I have to settle for the comfort that praying through those activities gives me.  Perhaps tomorrow I will feel the pressure starting to ease.

Supermom is feeling as thought being "Super" is just not good enough!

Time Flies

Today I very quickly became aware of how fast time seems to going.  On the way to my sisters I noticed how much color was on the trees.  This is my favorite time of year.  Why does it go so quickly?  One day green, the next trees ablaze with color and tomorrow gone.  It is quite sad.

I notice it in other ways.  Look at the children.  I remember carrying each one.  The day I found out I was pregnant,  the morning sickness, all the preparations and of course the birth.  I remember quite moments with infants and struggling afternoons with toddlers ( that was just yesterday after all).  And how did we go from that to almost a teenager with Abby.  

I am not sure why there are certain moments when we are more aware of the speed at which our life goes.  Overall we are only a tiny blip in the timeline of the world.  I find that those are times for quite reflection.  I just look back at the memories and smile.  I snuggle my kids close and hold on a little longer than they want.
I touch my belly and follow the foot or hand that moves across it with my own hand, just my skin separating us. 

At the same time I want take the time to consult the to do list and see what has been accomplished and what still needs to be done as time pays no heed. 

How can you feel two such opposing things at once?  I am sure that between the hormones and lack of sleep these feelings will be short lived.  It is Thursday and that always means a lot to be done in preparation for Friday at school.   Good bye Summer.  Hello Fall!

Beyond the rant

Yesterday we experienced a tell tale rant of frustration with the technological world.  Today I want to move beyond that. 

Let's look to technology for the answers.  Not actual technology, virtual or futuristic. 

I have been feeling very down on myself lately.  This is in spite of being so busy as you may have noted in previous blogs.  It has a lot to do with working a lone 90% of the time.  It has something to do with gaining weight at a rate to which I have absolutely no control.  There is something about achy legs and swelling body parts that leaves one discouraged.  And I know there is something to do with a hubby who pays little or no attention to how badly I am feeling or how far a little, "You really look beautiful today". 

Now I know I have a loving hubby.  I know that a lot of what I am feeling is normal for women in my condition.  I would just like some form of alarm or beeper that would kindly remind me what is hormones and  what is my hubby being self absorbed.   Do you think that something like that would be possible?  Perhaps my hubby could use some sort of Perfect hubby marital aide that would gently remind him that even after the vows you need to maintain some upkeep of the romance.  A watch that runs on spouse time and set alarms to remind him to pay a compliment, hug the wife, tell her how much you love her.  Now this would be a great use of technology.  And together the two pieces would work together to achieve some harmony in the home. 

Perhaps I could become rich with such ideas.  Supermom turned super inventor. 

Computers

I have a very complicated relationship with my computer.  It is a love-hate relationship.

There are a great many things that can be done so easily on the computer.  There are many things that people say are easier to do on the computer.  You can type and correct without messy ink.  You can find all kinds of information at the touch of a button.  I hear that you can pay bills on line safely and easily and save the money of a stamp.  I say I hear that, I don't believe it.

I spent the last half an hour trying to do just that with about three of our monthly bills.  What a mess?  You need to create an account for each and feed the computer all sorts of information just for the privilege.   So let's say I do that.  How do I keep track of all the different codes and passwords to gain access to my accounts?  I could keep a list, but then there would be a list lying around for someone to find?   This doesn't sound safe.

So this is for all those places that want to make things easier.  If I can write a check and place it in an envelope, stamp, seal it and walk it to the mailbox faster than I can access or create an account on line then it is not easier!  I will give something about ten minutes before I start to get frustrated and upset .  Frustration is not progress!!!

I would love to go green and save the money of stamps.  I would love to not have to write out so many checks every month ( not that typing an amount and hitting enter would be less painful) .  Until they really do make it fool proof and simple I will stick to my envelopes , stamps and occasional paper cuts.  I am thankful for those mail carriers, even if they are considered "old fashion" or "snail mail".  Sometimes progress is not always improvement.

Little Upsets

Friday was a big day.  We had art class as usual and then there was girl's club.  The question became what to do between the two.  So we picked up McD'S and went to the Zoo.  It was a beautiful day.  The zoo wasn't crowded and the time constraint meant that we stayed just the right amount of time. 

Picked Abby up from school, along with a friend to carpool to girl's club.  The only problem was that two 6th grade boys were goofing around and sort of tackled each other into the side of my car.  It left a rather sizable dent.  Both the boy's mothers saw the whole thing.  They said  they would take care of it.  I wasn't too upset.  I actually laughed.  The thing is that I feel bad.  I know that kids do dumb things and I don't want their parents to have to pay too much for their children's stupidity. My Hubby has no such feelings and is more than happy to let them pay.  I will wait and see what the estimate says. 

I took the other two children to the mall for a quick power shop during girl's club.  We managed to pick up Cinnabuns for Sat. breakfast and a birthday gift for my niece.  Then it was home for a fish fry and movie night.  I was so ready to relax. 

The rest of the weekend was spent on chores, and errands.   We went to the farmers market and apple picking on the farm.  Now I need to do something with all those apples.  The kids loved it though.  It is always nice to get out and do something with them that helps them relate to the beautiful earth God gave us. 

Sunday seemed like work.  We had mass and the b-day party.  We then had a banquet for a pregnancy help center.  Of course I took flyers with me and tried to get some more people excited about the race.  I checked the site and activity is up.  Registration is the same.  I am beginning to wonder what it takes to motivate people? 

Today I have the insurance meeting and then I will be able to get all the official paper work in order.  That will be good.   Things will start to feel more official.    I will have to pray harder for runners.

Making Progress

I finally feel as though I am making progress for the race.  I still only have three people registered.  I am not discouraged though. 

In the last few days I have gotten into some sort of a rhythm.   In the morning while the girls are at school, Nicholas takes a nap and Max just plays quietly.  I get to work.  I set up a make shift command center at the kitchen table.  The laptop gets plugged in, cell phone by the ready, binder opened to the task at hand and a cup of coffee on stand by.  I can usually get about two hours of work done.  I write emails and make phone calls.  At 11 I have to pack the boys up in the car and set off to pick Lily up from school.

I have been able to finish collecting sponsors for the race.  I have started to round up door prizes, sent press releases to papers and update the website.  I have made appointments to finalize insurance, and received permission for the use of land for a water stop.  Things are starting to come together.  Now I just need more runners. 

This morning work time has allowed me to concentrate just on the one aspect of things to get done.  It's like compartmentalizing my life.  When we get back from pick-up, we have lunch, do homework, play outside and do laundry (yes, at the same time.  I fold while I watch the children play)  and occasionally I will get a few less demanding tasks done for the race. 

Once I am home for the evening, very little is done for the race.  dinner, and housework, time with the kids and baby prep, and perhaps catching something desent on TV.  Pack lunches and get ready for the demands of a new day.  Progress if good.  And you can quote Supermom on that!

The Good News

We spent most of the weekend trying to celebrate my B-day.  The fact is that we are not very good at it.  I told my hubby on Saturday morning that it was truly sad that when I tried to think of what I wanted to do all I could come up with were things on the to do list.  They were not indulgent, frivolous things like one should do on their b-day.  Quite honestly if I had a day to do nothing with, and I was given a good book and container of bon-bons I would probably lose my mind in guilt.  Saturday we ended up doing chores and fixing some items on vehicles.  We finished with venison stew at the inlaws.  Not exactly b-day worthy.

Sunday we tried agian.  It started with some good news.  My sister-in-law called to announce that she is expecting!  Most of us thought that this was probably an announcement that was a long way off.  She just found out and couldn't stand to keep any kind of a secret.  We went to Mass and then hoped in the car to have lunch at the Olive Garden.  We had a gift card from last Christmas that made it a little more economical to do with all the children.  The food was great.  We even brought home dessert for later.  Pumpkin cheesecake and a piece of Tirimisu.    Yum!  We did a little shopping for baby essentials and returned home to watch the Packer game.  I had to leave at half-time for CCD and we had a no fuss dinner of left overs.  I think that I finally feel as though there was a little celebrating in honor of the day Supermom was born. 

Today I have spent catching up on race things.  I spent the a.m. sending out press releases to local papers.  I intend to make a few more call and then to call it a day.  Next on the list is to secure water stop locations.  Firm up t-shirt quotes, follow-up with vendors, and finalize insurance information.  Not too much.  Just one thing at a time.  I already got a call from one of the papers about the race on the way to pick Lily up from Kindergarten at noon.  That really was good news.  

Post B-day blues

Yep, that's right yesterday was my birthday.
And because of the funeral I spent most of the day before and the day of with my hubby's grieving family.  So yesterday afternoon at about three when we had some time to give thought to it, I just didn't feel like celebrating. 

We had loads of left overs in the fridge that needed to be used.  That is what we had for dinner.  We went out in search of an ice cream cake.  I had seen that Walmart now carried some and was curious to try one.  Well the one store we chose to go to was the one store that did not carry ice cream cakes.  I didn't want this to become a big production.  We stopped at Culver's on the way home and I settled for an oreo concrete cake.  Not what I wanted.  It was marginal.  Max loved it though.  And the way the children sang happy birthday was hysterical.  We didn't even have any candles we used a lighter.

We have designated Saturday as a make-up B-day so that we can celebrate properly.

There were other disappointments along the way.   Since I am one of twelve you would think that there would be many well wishers.  Only one remembered to send a card and email.  Isn't that sad.  My hubby's family did better.  I received a  card from my hubby's parents, sister, and aunt.  As well as numerous Happy B-day wishes amid the grieving.  This makes my families showing even more sad.  I couldn't even snuggle the hubby.  He was simply not mentally there.  I felt badly for feeling so blue.  It is just depressing to crawl into a cold bed on your b-day.  A day to celebrate.  I know it will get better.  Just bad timing this year. 

fairy cake for my sister

I am thankful for few things though.  Abby bought my a "mom" necklace a week ago with her own money.  That was very sweet.  My girlfriend who has a three week old baby even remember and made her customary "Happy B-day" phone call.  And there was that beautifully comical rendition of Happy Birthday with a lighter.  Really the small things need to be celebrated.  I will post here a few cakes I have made for other's b-days that were not so sad.   They remind me that where there is frosting a sugar coma blissfully waits.

Dragon for the Hubby's B-day in 08

Pink purse cake for Lily

Life Happens

It has been a while since I wrote.  Things are happening, and at rates that I am having a very difficult time keeping up with.  I can't really say that all the happenings are bad or upsetting,   Rather some of them are simple blessings in disguise.

My hubby's Aunt passed away Thursday morning.   We all knew that it was coming and even that it would be rather soon.   Is it sad to say that I am relieved?  We have spent the last month and a half visiting, praying, and wondering.  Now that she has been called home I feel confident that all is well.  The funeral is this evening and burial tomorrow morning.   The weekend was spent taking care of details to celebrate her life and visiting with family that otherwise isn't around.  Sunday evening we planted a beautiful tree in her memory for Uncle Russ.  We chose an Autumn Blaze Pear.  This is a non-fruit baring tree with white flowers in the spring and bright red leaves in the fall.  I know that she would love it.

The unfortunate part is that all day Sunday my Hubby's family worked together to accomplish the planting, but not to talk about his aunt.  There was a huge White Elephant in the room.  So when we were trying to sit down to dinner there was an unfortunate accident in which my brother-in-law was carrying in part of dinner from the grill and some landed on the ground.  My father-in-law over reacted, which led to my brother-in-law driving off and my sister-in-law in tears.  It was awful.  It was life.  This is what one can only expect to happen when you put a bunch of people who are hurting together, and no one talks about the pain.  It only manifests in ways that no one plans or means.

They all came to dinner at my house last night, minus the brother-in-law.  He seems to still be holding a grudge.  I thought perhaps a change of scenery would help.  Everyone seemed to enjoy it, but I have a lot of left overs!  Anyone hungry?

I will have to put on my game face for this evening.  It is not going to be easy.  Thank God for children that remind us that life goes on.   They remind us that God has a plan and his plan is always what is best, even if we don't understand it at the time.   They remind us that even when life seems dark, the light of Christ will just shine brighter to lead us back home.  Here are a few pics that are perfect examples.

Venting

I will make this short.  My mother always said," if you don't have anything nice to say than don't say anything at all".  I try to take that seriously.  Dwelling on the negative only brings you and everyone around you done. 

One of my Bros had surgery on his broken leg yesterday.  He is serving in Okanowa.  We have not heard how it went yet.  That makes me a little anxious. 

My Brother-in-law's father had a quadruple bypass yesterday evening.  This was not scheduled, rather a surprise result of failing his stress test.  Agian no news. 

Some believe that no news is good news. 

I am aslo now anemic.  This is a regular occurance in the final stages of my pregnancies.  However, I truely abhore having to choke down another pill that often times upsets my stomach.  Upside, maybe it will keep me from eating as much and I won't gain wieght so quickly.

Not so Super today.  There is always tomorrow!

Photos- Take two

Okay, so I got some of the pictures to  transfer.  Well actually, I figured that if I just blogged from my hubby's desktop I wouldn't have to worry about how to make files accessable on my desktop.  I will offer some brief descriptions for each of these photos. 

This is a rare smile from the runaway ring barer.

The next three are from breakfast on the farm.  This is when you get up very early on a Saturday and drive out into the middle of no where to be served a substandard breakfast of pancakes, eggs, sausage and applesauce.   Of course the children think that it is great.  Quality of food is lost on them  when they are transported by hayride, surrounded by animals and lured by chocolate milk.   Max fell in love with a cow,  Abby tried to become a tracter and they all took a ride in barrel train. 

This one is from the Library programs parade.   Children are encouraged to dress for the theme.  I never remember it until the day that it takes place.  So Lily found her hula outfit, Abby wore her bathing suit wrap , and Max his pirate hat, patch and pants made from my hankerchiefs.   We added the monkey since we didn't have a parrot for his shoulder.  They had a great time and I think they looked ten times better than the cardboard raindrop that won the costume prize.

I don't know what to say about Lily here.  This was Memorial Day weekend.  She just looks like Lily, all full of her "girly" self.

We then have Easter with the children.  Not a single shot came out with all children looking, smiling and eyes open.  However, something here shows how the children truly are.  Max just goofy, Lily dramatically shy when she wants and Abby just chillin out.

This is a rare photo that I actually don't mind that I am in.  From Christmas eve, just to let you know how slow we were to get the pictures from the camera. 

Maybe with the fourth child we will deal with those in a more timely way, but I doubt it.

Photo trials

I have spent the last few days trying to catch up on the photos that needed to be processed.  Abby and I figured out how to download, edit and order them online.  That way all we have to do is pick them up on our way home at Target.  I will post a few of my favorite picks for you.

Okay, so a computer triumph is short lived.  I guess I need to go back into my hubby's desktop(where we worked on photos) and give myself access to them from my desktop.  Why are things that should be rather simple complicated? 

You will have to wait for photos.  We did visit Aunt Susie and she is slowely fading away.  Abby had painted a picture that we took to her and she didn't really want to see her.  I gently explained that this might be the last chance she gets.  She came and we stayed only a short while. 

I spent a good chunk of the weekend upset with the hubby over a miscommunication.  And I have a Dr. appointment this evening.  A long appointment.   My mom is taking the other children so the Hubby can keep me company and then we plan to get dinner.  Is that a date?  As pathetic as it may sound, I have to take what I can get.

I am grateful for the fact that our marriage vows keep my hubby and myself from running away.  I don't know how people think that it doesn't make a difference whether you marry or not.   With out the grace of my vows I would feel utterly alone and helpless. 

Moving on

I am happy to report that my girls do not have strep!   Both their throats look awful, but it is only a virus that must run it's coarse.  And so it is.  Today they are fever free and seem to be acting normal.  Lily complains now and then about the food she eats hurting.  I can totally understand why. 

It has been brought to my attention that our school auction is only a week before my due date.  Yes, there is one more thing that will add stress and take up some time.  I need to get cracking on some of those things now.  I have made a dent in baby preparations though and the wedding is over so there are a few less pressing matters. 

Last night I found something that I felt was inappropriate by our computer.  It was on a disc.  I was rather upset and sought to confront my hubby.  Thankfully my fears were not founded and he reported he found it in the car we bought buried with some reciepts.  He had only brought it in the house to find out what it was and if it was important.  Thank God, he hadn't gotten that far.  Case closed!   Disc destroyed!

I think that Supermom will spend the afternoon going over my lists to take stock of what needs to be done and what has been done.  There is always something satisfiing about crossing something off a list.

Plucking away

This will be a rather short update.  Yesterday was much better than I had anticipated.  I didn't have to give myself a timeout. 

So far today I have given the children plenty of time outs.  The girls are still not feeling very well.  I am not feeling very so hot myself.  I am determined to get through this.   I will just keep working at life.  However, slowely I may be moving I will just keep working. 

I did also recieve an update that the new baby that was in the hospital is home and is doing better, but not great.  She has very rapid breathing and breaks out in a rash with very little provocation.  More prayers are needed.  they still do not know the cause. 

I am thankful for realatively Healthy children.  Thank God.

'Blow-up part II

I would like to say that my rants are over.  I would love to tell you that I have nothing left to complain about.  Believe me, I would love to feel normal and have some control over what I am feeling and how I react to what goes on around me.  But I can't.  

I truly believed that last weeks explosion was the end of it.  I was sadely mistaken.  Yesterday afternoon I spent trying to be comfortable.  I was completely exhausted and couldn't stay warm or cool to save my life.  Right before we left for church my son went to the bathroom and "hosed" a good portion of it.  My hubby did not have a good reaction to this.  He asked for something to clean it up.  I sought clarification as to what "something" was.  This was my fatal mistake.  He was very curt and anoyed with me.  I just simply couldn't take that and went to my room to cry. I pulled myself together to get through mass.  We returned home and I serve supper.  At which point Lily tipped her chair and spilled her drink.  I had had it .  I shrieked, quite literally.  Cleaned the mess.  Ate what little dinner I could stomach and sent myself to bed.  I am still not really talking to my hubby. 

I have this odd feeling that tonight will be much of the same.  Lily has been complaining of body aches all day, despite a trip to the zoo for a picnic lunch.  The best part was that my girlfriend had a healthy baby girl this morning.  At least it is a reminder that the end is in sight and all the horomones and uncomforatableness is all worth it.  I need to go back to picking something to be thankful for.  Today I am thankful for a drop in the humidity.  Anything that makes me feel less sticky is truly a blessing.

Mother-In-Laws

I don't know why some people treat others the way that they do.  My hubby has a cousin that just had a baby a week ago.  A brand new baby girl.  They returned to the hospital only a few days ago because she was having a hard time breathing.  I would like to point out that the father's family lives about three and a half hours away and the wives family ten minutes.  The father's mother and father drove all the way to the hospital so that they could offer support.  They were rudely turned away.

Let me just say that the reason that the boy doesn't know them is because this couplt has a running track record of inviting the Grandparents or letting them be in any part of the boy's life.  Now, Isn't that sad!  I know that everyone is different and I am not one to tell people what is what, but this is a great injustice to all the parties involved.  Now when the parents are stressed and need support they won't accept it, even for the good of their son.  These are the times when family should come together not be pulled apart.

My two girls are actually spending today with the In-Laws.  Thank God, I needed a beak from the bickering. 

The build up and the Rumble

Well , I survived the wedding weekend.  I am using the term "survived" very losely.  The wedding was all that a wedding can be.  I am sure that for many other guests and the Bride and Groom, it was a  lovely time.  I on the other hand was running around at the last minute with little details.  And just when I thought that all was well my son, the ring barer had a melt down right down the ailse.  I have to admidt that all I could do was laugh.  We have all seen this before and it never gets old.  I was expecting better from my son.  He showed no signs of the impending meltdown.

We all enjoyed staying in the hotel with the pool.  It was very relaxing to soak my aching feet.  The children liked rolling out of bed and going for a swim.  Max loved how the hotel was Northwoods themed and there was wildlife every where you looked.

We drove home on Sunday and unpacked.  I was off on Monday and hoping to unwind.  I felt completely overwhelmed by the cleaning that needed to be done and all that needed to be prepared for the baby.  The children were quite sick of each other and couldn't manage to remember how to play nicely with one another.  I think that I lost my mind.  I just let them have it.  I had children in every available corner and almost lost my voice for the yelling.  You might think that this was the "rumble".  Well, it was not.  I proceeded to go into my bedroom and let my self have it for letting my self loose control.  I was quite disgusted with my own behavior.  After about ten minutes I began to feel myself agian and went on to finishing the cleaning.

Thank God for the prayer that can even lift Supervillian to be a Supermom.

Extra Hands

The wedding is this weekend and my parents are still somewhere between home and Wyoming.  This leaves me to arrange for the welcome bags for the hotel guests and to iron out details for the rehersal dinner.  I think that I am finally getting it under control. 

Monday I spent a lot of time on the phone, but I arranged for a grooms cake for the rehersal dinner.  I also finished the ring bearer pillow.  Yesterday, was also a lot of time on the phone.  I got the info. I needed to get most of the shopping done for the "welcome" bags.  I think that I did rather well.  Each bag will price out at less than $2.50  and include; two bottles of water, micro. popcorn, homemade chocolate chip cookies, granola bars(2), fruit snacks(2), crackers with peanut butter, a piece of fresh fruit, gum, welcome note from the groom's family, weekend itinerary and directions to all pertinent locations.  I will personally be baking about 12 dozen cookies tomorrow.  The more fresh the better.  I also got a very good start on the unity candle that I am hand painting.  Tonight will be round two.

Today my hubby was off.  We went to our Wednesday in the park.  This park had a swimming area, hiking, fishing.  We had a great time.  The children swam , ate and then just to make sure they were good and tired we took the mile long path around the swimming lake.  It is very quiet now.  The extra hands from my hubby made it a much more enjoyable time.  I think that despite liberally applying bug spray we are all atleast a pint short of blood.

I have to take full advantage of the quiet while I can.  I will be making packing lists for each member of the family, we leave tomorrow evening.  I will also finish off the itineraries and direction pages for the bags.   Wish me a productive afternoon.

Tiny Graces

I have spent the last couple of weeks doing all sorts of things for all sorts of people.  I feel as though my schedule has to be cleared with everyone I know to make sure that I am not letting anyone down.  Between the Mother-in-law, recovering from back surgery, Aunt on hospice and limited to only three more short monthes, brother's wedding just around the corner and sick children, it is all very overwhelming. Let's just say that preparations for the baby, the race and how I am feeling all take a back seat.

My parents have left to travel cross country to take my youngest brother to college.  They will return with maybe a day to spare before traveling the  two and half hours north for my other brother's wedding.  Wedding plans are coming together, but not with out plenty of "Drama".  I will just say that there seems to be alot of animosity between my future sister-in-law and my mother.  While my mother can be a bit much at times, even I feel that the problem is more the fault of the Bride than my mother.  I don't want to spend this entire post complaining.  The Bride may not be completely at fault, this may just be evidence of being raised in a small divorced household.

I also went to two funerals this week.  One for a priest friend of the family.  He was the cutest, and sweeteset man.  Confession with him always took a long time, but the stories he told were amazing.  The other funeral was for the grandfather of one of my students.  I took all five children to both.  Why?  I know that I am crazy sometimes.   I also know that it may appear that I am asking for punishment.  My thought is this.  I want my children to know how to behave.  I want them to value life and the eternal reward of heaven, both of which we celebrate at funerals.  While it is difficult, and some of them are still working on mastering the behavior, I feel that they gain grace for their presence and for the soul we pray for. 

I saw a tiny sign of this on our way to communion.  Max, now two and a half, wanted to walk alone.  Since I was already carring the baby I tried to get him to hold my hand.  "I do it myself."  he said firmly.  And do it he did.  He walked just in front of me and he clasped his hands together folded neatly.  I was shocked.  He didn't run, he didn't step on anyone else.  And when he returned to the pew I was praising him for doing so well  and he said " I eat one too, Mommy".  I just said to him, "believe whatever you want baby, you did very well."  I will take all the tiny graces I can get.  Thank you Lord, it makes all the struggle to get them there and to have them sit still worth it. 

Change

I do believe that I have made a similiar post before.  I have this overwhelming sense of change.  It may have everything to do with my ever expanding belly.  but then agian it may have more to do with how very busy we are with so many things.  And it is still summer.  Just wait until the fall.

We have about two and a half weeks until my brother's wedding.  Everyone has clothes except me.  I blame the belly.  I am working on alterations for the flower girls.  I need also to paint the unity candle, iron out plans for the rehersal dinner, make a ring bearer pillow and guest bags for those in the hotel. 

My mother-in-law just had surgery Friday on her back.  So this morning we baked her sugar-free (she's diabetic) chocolate zucchini bread.  I wish I could say that I am sure it is amazing, but I can't get past the after taste of artificial sweetner.  I am sure that she will like it.

The race is getting closer.  Last Sunday at Festa Italiana in Milwaukee my family handed out over 300 flyers for the event.  This Thursday is the German Fest run.  We have a team of 12 runners, including my pregnant self.  And yes I plan to run the entire thing.  We will be handing out hopefully another 300 or more flyers.  I want to move forward with planning, but I am finding it difficult.  Once people register I can start to order supplies.  It is expensive to put up all the start up cost myself.  Please Lord send my some corporate sponsors. 

As if all of this is not enough the children have been sick.  Not all at once.  They are each sick for 2-4 days about a week apart.  Our children have all had it and now my sisters have started.  I am running out of patience.   God give me strength.  The good news is that I get to go home and not deal with it in the evening.  I also have to start the final preparations for  the baby.  Going into the final trimester, time is running short.  I fear that with school starting time will run out all together.  I also want to do some prep work for Max's B-day and Christmas which will follow very quickly once the baby comes. 

Let me leave you with this inspired idea.  Yesterday while the children played in the kiddie pool I brought a tub of warm water and foot scrub.  They played in the pool and I did a little pedicure on my self.  I never got as far as painting my toe nails, but soaking, scrubbing, and rubbing lotion on my feet was divine.  Added bonus was that when we came inside the children sat to watch a movie and ave quiet time.  Heaven times 2.  Multitasking is a Superpower!!!!!

Summer Funk

I am ashamed to say that the summer is getting to me.   I am definately experiencing some depression with the pregnancy.  The summer heat and humidity is not helping.  The mosquitos seem especially nasty and I am forced to keep children in doors more and more.

Aside from all of that there have been a great many events that have made it very difficult to stay on track.  My grandfather visited for his 80th birthday party.  This was complete with relatives from across the nation and lengthy discussion of grandpa's failing health.  My brother was home on leave from the Marines.   This prompted a family portrait of all my siblings.  Have you ever tried to get fourteen people dressed and looking nice in one place, on time, and smiling all at once?  It really was comical.  My brother will be deployed for nine months including time in Afganistan. 

My Mother-in-law is having big problems with her back which is leading to complications with her breathing and insulin.  My father has had some form of infection in his knee that has made it painful to walk, but is slowly getting better.  Unfortunately he thinks that the cancer has returned to his mouth.  And on top of all that my sister whose children I care for, spent an evening in the emergency room.  Evidently she has some intestinal dysfunction that caused and infection.   She is only 32.  This problem is common in people over 60.
That evening happened to be the one before her daughter's 4th birthday.  We spent the next day with the children away from the house so that she could rest.  We shopped and baked the cake my sister had planned.

We have had bridal showers and family reunions.  I think that If I had a weekend with nothing to do I would be beside myself  and not know what to do with it. 

Tomorrow we have a recital to close out Piano camp week.  Next week starts two weeks of swimming lessons.  

I have to keep working on the race.  And reminding myself that time goes fast.  18 weeks until the new arrival.  That is not very long when that time includes school starting, and two weddings. 

Here's to looking up and trudging on!

I Feel a little "Super" today

I spent a good part of the last two days doing two things. 

One, I had signed up to take part in an auction item "Chocolate dessert of the month".  There were six of us and we each picked a chocolate dessert to make and a monthe to do it.  Then at the auction people bid on it.  The highest bidder then is delivered a chocolate dessert each month for six monthes.  I choose to make a truffle assortment.  I had made cappucino truffles a couple of times before, but that was it.  I thought that this would give me the opportunity to try a few more recipes.  I made the a vanilla dusted raspberry truffle, peanut butter truffle, and mint truffles along with the cappucino truffles.  I delivered about three and half dozen truffles.  I actually thought that making them wasn't too difficult and they tasted amazing.  The only down fall was how messy working with chocolate is.  My hubby was kind enough to help with the clean-up.  Thank you Hubby!

The second task was to label and address all the corporate sponsor letters.  I also had to create a spreadsheet with all the addresses and phone numbers so that I can keep track of them.  I finally got that finished.  I have only to drop the stack of fifty letters at the post office.

But let me tell you what really made my day.  the children were watching a video during quiet time and my two year old stood up and announced, " I need my mommy!".  He came over to where I was working on the computer and climbed in my lap for a hug and a kiss.  Sat just a few moments and then got up to return to the video.  Amazing how such a simple little gesture can make your heart feel as though it may explode.  These moments make  all the potty accidents talking back, and sibling rivalry all worth it.

Rough few days

I spent most of the day Yesterday with extreme pressure.  I would not call them contractions.  They did not come and go as contractions would.  Rather, as long as I was up on my feet it was there and it was uncomfortable.   If I sat it got better and if I layed down it was gone completely.  This made it very difficult to get anything done.  I know what my midwife would say, " Kate it is your body telling you that you are doing too much!"  I don't think that I was doing that much and I simply do not have the time to do less than I am doing.  Today does seem better.

I also spent Friday trying to get the return address labels for the race printed.  I had already tried on two other occasions.  I spent at least an hour each time.  This is what I get for buying labels with free templates online.  I spent an additional two and half hours including 45 minutes on the phone with a "techie" friend, while using a laptop and a desktop computer.  Finally, I had success.  Thank God!  A few more minutes and I might have opted to throw one or both the computers out the window.  So much for user friendly.   I do hate the "convience" of computers.  

I am greatful for friends who are willing to help us humble computer nephytes with our computer quirks and bugs.  Now I would just like for the weather to clear up a bit and make if a little easier for the children to play outside and not drive their pregnant mother to drink.  

the Summer Swing

 i wish that I could say that we are all settling in to a routine.  I can atleast say that we are trying.  I am working desperately to limit the TV time.  It is hard when some children are perfectly content watching moving pictures and the weather outside is less than pleasant.  So our days have started to go something like this.

6:00 we get up, I work out and everyone is dressed and out the door by 7:30
8:30-9  they watch  tv while I get my sister's children dressed.
9:30-10:30 play and snack inside
10:30-12:00 play outside- at park or in yard
Lunch
Quiet time- Max and Nick nap, girls do school work and piano lessons
2:00 up and back outside after nap or games inside
4:00 drive home
5:00 make dinner, and eat about 6
walk or bike ride with the children, softball on Thursdays
7:30 bathes and prayers, books and bed about 8:30-9

This leaves very little time for planning the race and chocolate stuff.  Atleast I am starting to feel that nesting kick in and it is giving me some much needed energy.

Last night we actually rearranged the children's bedroom and talked about crib placement and what to do about a dresser.  There is progress being made despite how busy every waking moment is.

Getting back up agian!

I have spent the day trying to catch up on some of the work that needs to be done for the race.  There is still so much to be done.  It is very hard to concentrate though.  I really need to start to focus on the details.  The true problem is that there is a lot of things that I don't know the answers to. 

I just need to keep pushing forward.  I would just like to know how something that should be relatively easy is proving to be very difficult. 

It has been a while since I have blogged about something that I am grateful for.  Perhaps I need to get back to it.  I want to be thankful for Summer vacation.  Abby is finished with school until September.  I am grateful for the extra set of hands.  We do need to work on not watching too much TV,   reading more, and not bickering between children.  Well, Supermom can dream, can't I?

Off the wagon and rolling

Wow, I really don't know what happened!  It has been quite a while since I have posted anything.  Not to say that nothing post worthy has happened.  There has been plenty.

But , I think that as a parent there are two schools of thought.  You can run yourself ragged when something happens trying to document every moment.  Or you can sit back and enjoy that moment.  I tend to be more of the second. 

I also think that I have slipped into a slight depression.  I truelly enjoy my time with my children.  However, going daily to my sisters is taking it's tole.  I really do not feel Super.  I feel as though I am not doing anything well right now. 

We celebrated Abby's B-day and I totally messed up the frosting which resulted in a complete emotional meltdown.  I called my hubby at work in tears.  I just couldnt understand how everything I tried lately turned out badly.  I think he was simply beside himself about what to do.   He offered to pick up premade frosting at a local baking store.  I like that frosting better anyway!  Now if I can just get the hubby to let me live down the meltdown. 

My 16 week appointment with the midwife was yesterday and this was the first appointment that my hubby has been able to come to.  Of course he brought it up with the midwife.  She reminded him that I was acting quite normal (for a pregnant lady) and that perhaps the answer would be in "Mommy time "  away from the children.   We will have to see how my hubby follows through with that.

Finally, last night we celebrated our 10th anniversary.   We went out to dinner and a movie.  I would like to say that after ten years how is it that we hardly have anything to talk about while sitting at dinner?  Dinner was good and it was time away from the children to recharge.  The movie " The Prince of Persia", was very good.  It was entertaining for both of us.  Funny for me with a little romance.  Action and suspense for him.    I still think that we need to get a night away somewhere , but that may not happen. 

Let's just end with that I am determind to get out of the slump that I am in.    Until next time I am looking to get my Super back!

Roller Coaster

By this I do not mean the thing at the amusement park that races along a winding track and makes you scream with glee.   No rather I mean this is more the way my life is going right now.  It is good and bad all at once and just when you think you have adjusted to a dip or turn there is a rather sudden change of course.  The sort of change that makes you feel sick to your stomach.

It may all be pregnancy hormones, but I doubt it.   I like to think that my temper levels out with pregnancy.  My hubby would probably say otherwise. 

A few days ago when the hubby was on his way home from work (3 hours late)  he called to say that he thought his fuel line was leaking.  He said he would go straight to his parents to assess the situation.  I was disappointed, but you do what has to be done.  He brought his father's truck home and the following day the fuel line was replaced for $20.   Thank God for men who can fix things with out a mechanic.  The very next day my hubby repeated the call on the way home that the car was still leaking and that he was agian returning to his parents and would be late.  Again he came home with his father's truck.  This time the gas tank.  We could replace with a used for $ 50 or a brand new one for 150.  The car is a '92 rust bucket that has 218,000 miles on it.  Here is the kicker.  We are buying the hubby's sisters car in two weeks when she drives home from Colorado!   Her car was to replace the rust bucket.  My hubby also tells me that we could buy this '84 dodge something or other from his bro's friend for $300.  My hubby says that this would get us through the two weeks.  True, but we would spend about $500 total to liscence and register for a car we would need only for two weeks.    This is only the car delema. 

Today I hit Max in the head agian with a dumbbell.  I was lifting and he ran behind me and before I knew it ran right in to the weight.  It was only a 5lb. weight, but it hit him in the same spot as the hard ball.  And let me tell you he had one of those "Tom and Jerry"  goose eggs that grows while you are watching.  I felt aweful.  I cried, which probably only made him cry more.  and of course he didn't want any ice!  How very unsuper am I feeling! 

I truelly think that this is enough info for now.  God willing we will now be on a track that is going up, atleast for a little while.  I would settle for one that just levels off.  The good news is that we probably are close enough to the ground on this wild ride that we may be able to hop off and take a break. 

Survived!

Supermom survived the crazy Mother's day weekend.  I would like to say that I enjoyed every minute, but I will be honest, I didn't.  It was a lot of hard work and my hubby's attitude did not improve until Sunday.  I will remind you that Suday should have been restful for a Mother of three and soon to be four.   A day to relax abd celebrate.  Here is where the problem lies.  How do you make the day special for your own mother and mother-in-law and still have time to relax? 

My hubby had asked what I wanted.  I said two things.   My bathroom cleaned (this was the one chore I didn't get to on Saturday with the rummage and First Communion) and a chocolate croissant for breakfast( Trader Joes sells them frozen you just let rise over night and bake 20 min---Amazing!).  I got niether of these.  I was a little disappointed.  We were at the in-laws by 9:30 for breakfast, Chocolate party by 12:30 and my parents by 4:00.

Did I mention that Max got hit in the head with a hard ball?   Evidently he wanted to play catch too.  He was very sluggish to respond and my hubby called the nurse for input.  (I was at the chocolate party)  So we now have four-year-old with sprained ankle and two year-old with concussion.  I probably should be working on the pile of things I have to get done today instead of blogging.  So I best go for now and see what I can check off of my list.

How's your glass?

I haven't blogged in a while.  We have been very busy.   And of course when you are already busy there are always a few unexpected things that come up.  For example with First Friday today yesterday was already a day that was going to be filled with prep work.  However Lily had fallen the night before and as the day went on she no longer could bare any wieght on her left foot.  So we spent three hours or so at the Dr.'s getting x-rays.  She has a bad sprain and is to stay off of it and rest.  She is tolerable if her pain meds don't lapse.

While my hubby has been great lately, yesterday was not one of his good days.  He felt that Lily was faking and therefore was not supportive or sympathetic.  I felt like everything he said was negative.  It is very difficult to deal on a hard day when a lot needs to get done when someone is next to you pointing out every little obstacle and challenge.  If you are reading this blog you know that I have been working on being possitive and grateful.  This was especially challenging yesterday.  And the Hubby only made it harder.

I am happy to report that on the way home from the Dr. I felt a little proud of my self.  I didn't once think wo is me.  Or that the world was going to end.  I simple had a, " let us do what needs to be done" attitude.  The nurse when I talked to her on the phone asked, " Do you have time to bring her in?".  I said, " Somedays you just have to make time for what life throws at you."  To me it was not whether I had time to do it, I knew it needed to be done and I was going to do what ever it took to get it done. 

In the end I got everything done and prepped for today.  I even arranged for my Father-in-Law to take Max for today.  That was amazingly helpful.  I didn't have to worry about when the last time he sat on the toilet, or where he ran off to.  It also helped me keep better track of Lily's meds and ice packs for her leg. 

I will add that atleast two times yesterday I had a few "choice words" for my hubby.  I tried to be charitable, but there is only some much one can say to someone that seems intent on making others miserable.  By the time he came home from softball practice in the same sour mood I asked if he treated his team this way?  He said,"no".  At that point I gave up.  I did the rest of the prep myself and went to bed.  I simply pray that he will see that all that we go through doesn't even compare to what others do.  We are blessed.   Until he sees the glass and is thankful for the juice in it or even just to have a glass, everything else will be half empty or lacking. 

Good Weekend

My hubby worked the weekend.  Except for that, everything else was good.   We spent Saturday morning doing chores.  The hubby came home about noon and than we lounged around.  Actually, by some miracle I got the two year old to curl up with me and take a nap.  I just wish it could have lasted longer.  I only napped about half an hour and had to use the restroom.   I got up and ran few errands with Abby.  Everyone else was sleeping at home.  My mother-in-law came home from the hospital about 7:30 and we went over to visit.  She had been there since Wednesday. 

Sunday I was pleasantly surprised when the hubby met us at church.  He came straight from work.   We had walked to Mass.  Actually, Abby and I walked while Lily and Max ran from one dandelion to the next.  The best part was that Max fell asleep ten minutes into Mass and made it very pleasant.  We had lunch at my mothers and then all hopped in the car to go to the Marian Shrine for the May crowning.  It was a beautiful day.  Sunny and warm and filled with prayer.  

On the way home we stopped by my sisters for a short visit.  Then the batting cage.  This would have been great except that only  one softball cage was working and about 12 people who wanted to use it.  And on top of that 25% of the pitches never made it to plate.  Disappointing!

We had no other choice but to go home and have a nice quiet dinner.  All in all it was a good weekend.  Next weekend is packed.  I have two chocolate parties, girl's club, First friday and May crowning at School, a rummage and of course there is Mother's day.  I want to take a nap just thinking about it!

Let's talk about deadlines

Okay, this week has been rough.  Let's talk about deadlines and the reality of everyday life.  I set some goals a few weeks back for the race.  things like getting out sponsorship letters, opening registration, getting insurance.  I am sad to say that I have not met very many of them.  I am happy to say that is not for lack of trying. 

I have a quote in process.  I have been working hard on the website and have added some more content, including a printable pdf that people can print up to share.  I have finished a corporate letter and had it proofed by my sister.  English is not my forte.  I guess this is one reason that God blessed me with so many siblings.  I alsmost always have one that is good at what I am lacking. 

So realistically this comes down to the  serenity prayer.   God give me strength to do what needs to be done and what must, and also the serenity to except what I can not change.  Note- this is my paraphrasing.  The prayer says it better.  Children are a constant reminder of that.  It is most important to take care of them and give them what they need.  Secondary  are your needs and wants.  Often times the little things are more important.  

Like I would have loved to recieve Communion today,  However, Max had other plans.  He just didn't want to sit quietly.  Why is it that two year old boys think that any time is a good time to growl like a tiger?   I spent my communion meditation in the hall serving corner time.  There must be some grace in that. 

I know that life is what we make of it and we are along for the ride.  The trick is remembering that we are a passenger and God is our driver.   Life is a struggle when we try to be the backseat driver, who knows it all.

I think that I did un usually well yesterday getting things done.  The drawer that houses all our movies was falling apart. I set out on a mission.  There were a few different objectives.  One, fix the drawer.  Two weed through the movies and donate some.  Third, make room on the book shelf for some so the drawer won't be as likely to break agian.  Fourth, weed through the books so that there is room.

I managed to accomplish all objectives.  The drawer simply had some screws loose.  Kinda like a few people I know.  The down side is that everything had to come out to fix it.  I made enough room on the bookshelf for the Disney VHS.  I would love to get rid of all our VHS tapes, but I just can't bring myself to part with "Cinderella" and the like.  Not yet.  We now have three rather large stacks of books and movies to donate.  It always feels good to let go of somethings that are cluttering your life.

The million dollar question is why no matter how many bags and boxes of things we get rid of do we still have a full apartment?  Well I am going to keep going.  The more I get rid of the more room there will be for the baby.   Next will be the religious books and cookbooks, games and my closet.  I just need to convince my husband that holding on to clothes that don't fit  won't make you shrink back into them.

I have toyed with the idea of having a rummage sale instead of donating it all.  Or just donate what we don't sell.  I am just not sure if that is the best idea.  I would have to price everything and work the sale.  The money from it would be nice yet the idea of giving it over for God's work is very appealing.  I will have to see what the Hubby thinks about it .

The best part is that the children really love looking at what they have and picking out things to give away.    The real trick is keeping them out of it until it is donated or sold.  Who knows how much migrates back to their secret toy stash.

Progress

Last night at about nine I got home from the final night of CCD.  We also had a teachers meeting and a party to celebrate that our beloved DRE was going to be leaving us.  It was the most pleasant meeting.  We had a nacho bar and ice cream cake.  We even had wine and cocktails to help celebrate.  Sorry to say that I could not indulge in those, but they looked blissful.  So I got home later than usual.

The good news the children were in bed already.  Thank you Hubby!  The bad, I received the news that Abby was not feeling well.  I went to check on the children and she was still awake.  I told her to come down (the six foot loft is not the place to be with an upset tummy) and come out to the couch.  No sooner had she sat down on the couch then she declared she was going to be sick.  Thank God, she is old enough to get to the bathroom and not make a big mess.  The Hubby even held her hair!  Needless to say she stayed home today.  She says she is feeling great though. 

This morning I felt pretty good too.  I got some emails answered and made some phone calls about the race.  Timing has been secured, and I am getting a quote about insurance.  God willing it will be amiable and we can move forward.  I atleast feel as though I have accomplished something.  I call it progress even though nothing is settled, but I take what I can get.  This afternoon I will be looking at banks to see about an account for the race.   Wish me luck and continued motivation.

Another week

Okay, so we have made it through another week.  Now that I am starting to feel better I need to get more focused on the race.  I set those deadlines and now I have to see them through.  Perhaps tomorrow I can get the sponsor letters printed and addressed.  I need to find people willing to help get this off the ground.

Mass this morning started out really well.  All the children lined up and sat in their chairs quietlly for the first 15 minutes.  It went down hill from there.  All in all I only had to take one of the children out, although I took her out twice.  

I wish I could say that art class went as well.  It wasn't really one thing, just all the children seemed unfocused and wound up.  I was exhausted by the end of class from saying," sit down in your seat", "quiet down", and " if it isn't yours, don't touch it!".  Somewhere, somehow, the children must get something out of this. 

Tomorrow nothing is planned.  It can go two ways.  We can get a lot done.  Or we can get a lot of much needed rest.  I leave it up to God.  Perhaps we can do both.  Rest until noon and then work the afternoon away. 
Always dreaming, what can I say.

Feeling better

I just want to say that I am feeling better!  I think that I am finally starting to overcome the viruses that I have been fighting.  It also helps that today has gone much smoother than yesterday.  I do have a ton of errands to run.  God willing the children will be helpful and not too cranky as we make our roounds.

Sometimes I think that when you don't have time to feel bad you just do what needs to be done.  I need to get the shopping done.   That inclludes two grocery stores, the dollar store, Walmart.  I also need to start on making
dinner for two families that just had babies.  The plan includes Chicken salad sandwiches, a strawberry, sponach salad, Raspberry applesauce jello and pretzel torte for dessert.  I will need to some torte to stay home for the hubby.  It is one of his favorites. 

I should also see about picking up the last few needed supplies for an art project at school.  Did I mention that I have a Dove meeting tonight and a few phone calls to make for the chocolate biz.  Well the children call and if I am going to get anything done I have to get a move on.  It takes almost half an hour to load them all in the car.  Wish me luck!

Meltdowns

I just want to talk briefly about meltdowns.  I have had a few recently.  I know that horomones can be to blame, especailly in my condition.  However, I have never been one to be okay with feeling out of control.  

My hubby was working in dishes on Sunday.  I had not been feeling well all day.  I actually called in for teaching CCD and spent most of the day on the couch.  I just apologized to him for being useless.  And of course I started to cry.  He said I was just doing a different kind of work right now.  It was awfully sweet.  I really do love him. 

Today I was late getting to my sisters.  I can't say it was any one thing.  It has been really hard getting out the door lately.   I suppose that the sore on my tongue that makes it difficult to talk and brush and eat isn't helping.  A little boy who has his own ideas about what to wear slows us down.  It also did't help to get hit in the head by a closet door this morning and needed to be iced, or baby powder all over the carpet that needed to be vacuumed.  And of course there is overall traffic delays.  So I was late.  My sister was clearly not happy and it only left her half an hour to get to her meeting.  I apologized, but I don't think that she heard me over her ranting about how if I couldn't be there on time maybe they would find someone who could.    Let's just say I had another meltdown.  Not one that my sister saw.  Natalie, my niece asked what was wrong and Lily just said ," Mommy hurt her head."  To which Max said," I am sorry ."  He was the force behind the closet door.

So here is the burning questions for today.  Should one feel badly about leaving a position where the employer cares very little about them, or what is going on  in their life?   I was wondering when would be a good time to tell my sister that when the baby comes I will not be watching her children any more, but I think that this morning gave me the answer I had been looking for.  Now why do I feel so uneasy about it all?

Two steps forward, and one step back

Well, last night as we were doing our usual Thusday prep for Friday art frenzy, the race planning really took a blow.  Let me just add that we had finished dinner and I was starting into the evening let down of emotions and stomach turning.  I got a phone call from the Knights of Columbus treasurer.  He said that they would not be able to insure the race.  The insurance carrier said that because it was on public land they couldn't cover the event.  My response, " Where else would it be?"  I can't think of any race I have ever run that has not been on public land.

I immediately felt worse.  I started to try to figure out all that I would now have to do to cover the let down.  Honestly, I wanted to climb right in to bed and just hide.  I said to my  husband that it is a set back, but we can still get this done. 

At mass this morning we had the story of the multiplication of the loaves and fish.  Father talked about how if he had been the boy he probably wouldn't have bothered.  His lunch wouldn't be much help to feed 5,000.  I got the message loud and clear.  Often our efforts seem as though they may make little difference.  And that is a fear I have for the race.  That we will race very little money for the Pregnancy Help Center.  However, our efforts will always pale in comparison to what God will do with them and the fruits they can produce. 

So, this is it .  I need to focus on the event happening.  Any money we raise will be great and excepted by those in need.  And this year to get the event off the ground will give us greater potental for next year.   I must look at it as laying down roots. 

Beautiful days ahead

We spent yesterday morning at the zoo.  It was great.  It was amazing weather and it was not very crowded.

Today we went to the park down the road and then to run some errands.  My hubby and I played Bocce while the childen climbed and slid around.  It was very relaxing.  We came home and made "puppy chow".  Except we used sunflower seed butter instead of peanut butter so the hubby could eat it.  The children each got a bag with cereal and powdered sugar to shake. 

Just think it is only April.   What a great many beautiful days we have ahead of us.

Milestones

It has been a long time sonce I have done any work on the race.  I spent the last two days setting up a website for the race.  It was  a little challenging.  I had a hard time converting files I needed in order to post them on the website.  There still is a lot to do.   I am going to give myself some deadlines.  Here are a few.

By the end of April  - I need to send out sponsorship letters.
                               - I need to set up the registration link
                               - I need to open an account just for the race.

If I can accomplish these three thing I will being doing pretty well .  It is difficult doing all of these things that I have never done before.  And I feel a little alone.  There is an upside to working alone in that when a decision is made it is made.  The down side is that I hesitate to make the decisions.  I don't know if what I am choosing is wise or not.  There is no one to help you make them.   And unfortunately if they turn out badly then you are soley responsible.  Very comforting thought, isn't it?

Did I mention that on Friday we are having a Spring Dinner with Fr. Rocky as the speaker for my daughter's school.  Let me add one more goal.  I want to have a brief "save the date" flyer printed so that I can set it out at the dinner.  I want to get the word out and spreading.  I also want to get people marking it on their calendars.  Milestones, that what all those goals are.  If can see the goal, I can work towards it and once I reach it, I can look forward to the next.  One day I will have the time to look back over all those milestones and see how very far I have come.

Faith

Faith is a funny thing.  You can have so much of it about somethings and very little about others.  Since you know how very type A I am and that I like to plan, the future is a very scary thing.

Lately I have been thinking a lot about the future.  It probably has something to do with school wanting us to hand in Fall registration.  My mind tells me I  need to plan something out and the way my body has been feeling tells me to take it one day at a time.  I haven't even given much thought as to what will be for dinner.  I know we will not starve, there is food a plenty (even if we have to resort to left over Easter candy).

Last night we had a mis mosh of  left overs with some freshly baked potatoes to balance it out.  Everyone ate something different, but we cleaned out the fridge and didn't throw the food away.  I think that the children like to have a choice.  They feel a little special that they are eating something that no one else is.  And my hubby made my night by doing the dishes for me!  I was so greatful.

I know that I need to pray more and worry less.  I once told one of my sisters that I felt that sometimes decisions are not necessarily right or wrong.  Both choices can be good, just different.  For example would you like Rocky Road or Strawberry cheese cake ice cream?   Neither choice will sell your soul, however, a lot of what we decide depends upon how we live out that decision.  There are no redeeming qualities to eating the entire quart of ice cream and small bowls shared with loved ones can feed the body and the soul.  Perhaps the decisions I have before me are like that.  There are pros and cons to all options and in the end it will not matter what I choose, just that I live out the choice in a Holy manner.

By the way I would choose Rocky Road with wipped topping.

The Couch

Today I am greatful for the couch.  Last night I started to not feel well.  I think that I am finally getting what everyone else has.  So I made dinner and fed the children.  It was my hubby's late night to work so he was't expected until 7.  I curled up on the couch with Max under a nice fuzzy blanket.  I do not remember my  husband coming home.  He did though.  I was sleeping.  He straightened the kitchen and got the children to bed.  He carried me into my bed where I promptly returned to sleep. 

This moring I awake to a stuffed up head which aches and to a very sore throat.  I am just grateful for that comfy couch, which allowed me to drift off so easily.  I am also thankful for my husband taking over where I left off.