Poverty's Price

I know it is late and I should be going to bed.  But, I just have to vent.  I put the race on Facebook about three months ago.  I invited all the "friends" we had.  ( I just want to note here that by we I me my hubby, I don't have a facebook account).  I thought that it would be a great way to spread the word about the race.  There are  six people who have responded that they are coming.  18 who are not, and 98 who have yet to respond. 

I am angered by the lukewarmness of the world. 

I got an invite for a fundraiser for my hubby's cousin's sister-in-law.  She has stage IV cancer.  From what I hear it is terminal.   She is 35 and has two daughters.  This is sad.   The invite was posted on Monday and there are already 24 people who responded.

We also got an invite for my hubby's cousin being inducted into the local highschool's hall of fame.  That invite was posted last Thursday and already has 14 guests. 

What does this tell us.  Well, it tells me that people are afraid to stand up for the greatest injustices in the world.  People are afraid of what others may think of their morals.  People have a very sad idea of what truth and evil are and how we should deal with each. 

I am even more upset by the fact that I want to put some "writing on the wall"  about my disappointment in our so called "friends".  I want very clearly call their attention to the lack of moral fiber of society.  Perhaps just remind them that every woman is faced with the same fears when she finds she is pregnant and that the support around her is what makes all the difference.  Perhaps their mothers would have or could have chosen differently and then they would not be here at all! 

There used to be a time and a place where people had common beliefs and they were united by natural law.  Now I am afraid that the law has not changed, but that people refuse to acknowledge it.  I did  post a comment about the great work that pregnancy help centers do and how you could honor your mother by registering to participate.  Will it do any good?  

People are willing handing thier children over to be slaughtered!  Other people know that this atrocity is happening and do nothing.  Sounds a lot like Germans who allowed Nazis to build concentration camps.  Yet it seems even more evil than that.  We have made it legal.  We have given those proceedures sterile names.  We have dehumanized the baby in the womb and we have perfected the murdering process over years and years.  We ALL know about the killing and most of us do nothing!

As Mother Theresa said," It is the ultimate poverty to decide that a baby should die so you may live as you wish!" 
A  great poverty indeed!

warning

I signed Lily-bug up for Dance last week.  Religious ed is in full swing, and Abigail declined dance to take up vollyball.  All really great things, but with the race looming and the work trip in just a few days.  I am not sure when I will have time to write again.  So you are warned. 

As a matter of fact the X-man, who has been working on a cough and started with a runny noise today, has gumms that look as though they are going to burst, is presently screaming his objections to not being removed from his crib fast enough.  Time presses on and life is anything but dull.  I would not mind dull.  Dull with long naps?  Is that in my future soon? 

Any way  you have been warned!  Until next time.

I did it!

I did it, I let him back in.  I was tired of being alone.  That is not why I got married.  Let's face it I do love the hubby.  I don't always like him, but I do love him.  I just have to make sure that we never go down that road again if we can help it.

I have also decided that perhaps I should write a book.  Well several actually.  The first should be "Ladies in Waiting for Knights Under Fire- reflections for waiting for Prince Charming'.  This book will touch a lot on why my hubby and I fight.  The demasculinazation of society.  Heavy topic no one wants to talk about.  Mainly because if they acknowledge that it exsists than they have to deal with it.  The second book,  Peeing in Peace- a mothers devotional.  This will contain many short reflections perfect for the restroom pit stop to send you back to the greatest job refreshed and refocused.

I also did something else.  I put away the fans.  You know what that means.  Well, a  couple of things.  1. summer is over. and 2. it will get hot at least one more time to the point that the fans would be helpful.  This is "murphy's law".  However, the feel of extra space and less clutter no matter how small the space gained is, is a good feeling.

sitting idle

I have spent a good part of the day on the computer, checking emails, sending emails, doing research, and trying to get a few more booths for the Life Fair at the race.  I think that I have been successful, but I am really not sure yet.  Time will tell. 

We made it to Mass this morning, albeit to late to go to communion, but it must count for something.  Then the library club where Max behaved relatively well and finally home agian.  We walked all the way.  Oh, and we dropped off the insurance papers for the race at the village hall. 

When I finally took a break I sat and hemmed a pair of pants that I bought back in June.  they were $65 pants on clearance for $9.  They were great except for the length.  Well, not any more.  Perhaps I will wear them tomorrow. 

Friday I am suppost to teach all day.  One of the teachers has to leave at noon.  I am sure that I can handle this.  Parent  meeting tonight at school.  This doesn't count as a date with the hubby, does it?  Not to fear I am certainly not sitting idle .  Well I am off to change a daiper and walkto pick up the girls.    Despite how busy I am , I am feeling blessed.  And when I doubt that I just look down at the little man learning to walk as he grins with accomplishment.

Life goes on

That last blog was utterly depressing, true-- but depressing just the same.   There have been a few good things that have come from not talking to my hubby for almost a week.  Life has been a little less complicated around here.  When I don't have to consult him, the decision is all mine.  I don't have to fight for the blankets or listen to the snoring.  On Friday it started to get to him.  He made an attempt to apologize.  For anyone listening (or reading) this is how not to apologize.  " I am sorry it got to that point".  I said me to and continued to not speak to him. 

On Saturday he was off all day.  This was what really got him.  He didn't mind a couple hours of silince in the evening, but an entire day was too much.  By 5 in the evening he apologized in a much more sincere manner.  We talked a little.  He is still on the couch, but we are talking.

The Xman is teething horribly.  I had to go but him more Ibuprofen yesterday.  I have not been feeling very well all week.  Just not right.  A little nauseus, weak and tired.  Don't jump to conclusion, I do wish the answer was that I was pregnant, but I am not.  I have another few ideas as to what might be causing it, but right now I think that it would be TMI for this sort of venue.  Oh and the Xman started to walk on his own.  This was Friday, he just started letting go of furniture and cautously walking across the room.  I have seen him take as many as twelve steps at once.  It is amazing!  Hopefully this will renew your faith in my blog.  Not all is lost and life still goes on.  The fact remains that if you pick yourself up and keeping moving toward the desired destination than you can still be successful no matter how many times you fall.  ( this is especially true in marriage.)  

If I could take it all back!

I sat in Mass on Sunday listening to the priest talk about forgiveness.  You all know the story of the servant who is forgiven and in turn does not forgive.  The Father than says you should forgive 70 x 7.  There was a gentleman sitting in front of us that had long hair pulled back in  a pony tail.   It reminded me of a boy I dated in highschool.  I began to wonder what would my life have been like if I had married him.  I would have not been there in church, next to four beautiful children and a my husband.  This other man was not religious at all.  By the end of Mass I was quite thankful for life being the way it is.  I am certain my soul would have been lost with the other.

That is where my day started and somehow by the end of the day I was not even close to that moment.  I found myself lost, in need of forgivness and in need of forgiving, but all to angry and hurt to do any of it.  The hubby and I had a sort of "falling out".  I will not go into details.  I will simply say that if we had been dating I would never go out with him agian.  If we were married without any children I would have packed my bags and left.  Yes, it was that bad!  Because we have kiddos, I am tolerating him.  We speak politly around the children ,otherwise not at all.  And he has been keeping the couch warm at night.  I am still lost.  I don't know what to say and he isn't trying to say anything.  What does that mean? 

I want to say I wish I could go back, but I don't.   That other man would have killed my faith, moved me from my family and maybe given me no children at all.  I love my husband.  The one I married.  I am not so sure that the one I am living with is the same one.   

On a lighter note.  It is very liberating to walk the children a block to meet Nana to ride to school in my pjs, since there simply isn't time to dress everyone else and myself.  What do those other people  who pass by on their way to work think of that poor lady with all those kids, standing on the corner?  Perhaps some of them are jealous they are rushing and we are together talking about the day to come.  Should I add a cape to my pjs?

Oh where oh where, can my shower be?

I sent the girls off to their first day of school.  Just me and the boys.  Why should that be so hard?  It is rather mellow and I am finding the mellowness leaves a lack of focus.  The real problem will be getting timing down agian.  For example who will watch the boys while I shower?

Yes, that is right I have yet to do that today.  I have done other things like two loads of laundry, dressed the boys, Xman twice.  worked out and found a cookie recipe to use for lunches.  Checked my email. Purt away laundry and started some more.  But that is it.  Not much to speak of.  And now someone want to have lunch!  

Perhaps if I send him outside while I make lunch , feed them both , nurse the baby , read some books and than a video while baby naps, I might find a shower.