Meltdowns

I just want to talk briefly about meltdowns.  I have had a few recently.  I know that horomones can be to blame, especailly in my condition.  However, I have never been one to be okay with feeling out of control.  

My hubby was working in dishes on Sunday.  I had not been feeling well all day.  I actually called in for teaching CCD and spent most of the day on the couch.  I just apologized to him for being useless.  And of course I started to cry.  He said I was just doing a different kind of work right now.  It was awfully sweet.  I really do love him. 

Today I was late getting to my sisters.  I can't say it was any one thing.  It has been really hard getting out the door lately.   I suppose that the sore on my tongue that makes it difficult to talk and brush and eat isn't helping.  A little boy who has his own ideas about what to wear slows us down.  It also did't help to get hit in the head by a closet door this morning and needed to be iced, or baby powder all over the carpet that needed to be vacuumed.  And of course there is overall traffic delays.  So I was late.  My sister was clearly not happy and it only left her half an hour to get to her meeting.  I apologized, but I don't think that she heard me over her ranting about how if I couldn't be there on time maybe they would find someone who could.    Let's just say I had another meltdown.  Not one that my sister saw.  Natalie, my niece asked what was wrong and Lily just said ," Mommy hurt her head."  To which Max said," I am sorry ."  He was the force behind the closet door.

So here is the burning questions for today.  Should one feel badly about leaving a position where the employer cares very little about them, or what is going on  in their life?   I was wondering when would be a good time to tell my sister that when the baby comes I will not be watching her children any more, but I think that this morning gave me the answer I had been looking for.  Now why do I feel so uneasy about it all?